Growing Pains II
by Ember411
Summary: Following the story of 'Growing Pains', now the new parents, Marley and Ryder, had to grow patience for the little newborn. But being patience, worrying about her life and their own life now, can Ryder and Marley make it? (Crappy summary, I know!) Rated T: Eating disorder.
1. October 24

**Weee! I got to upload the first chapter of Growing Pains II... finally! I've written the entire story so now I just have to upload the chapters. Probably one chapter a week at the most, maybe two.**

**Important Information For Readers (because silly me went back to 'Growing Pains' and realized that something wasn't made clear at all!)**

Marley and Ryder wanted to wait _3 years_ before having children, but got pregnant a year into their marriage. Marley and Ryder got married at 23 and had their baby when Marley was 24 and Ryder 23 going on 24.

**Alright that's it for now I guess. And as many of you may or may not know, I've put some story on hold so that I can focus on this story!**

**P.S: The name Annika pronounced like: Ah-knee-ka.**

* * *

**1: October 24.**

A week had passed since Annika was born. Still so small at 3 pounds and 02 ounces, with a head that was a bit smaller than a pool ball and her body tiny enough that she took up one of Ryder's hands fully, with her head being a little bit longer than his fingers. Every breath she took her rib caged showed.  
From the outside she looked as if she were in pain, as her mouth was constantly opened and her facial expressions made her look like she was in deep and dreadful pain. But everyone knew she was healthy and not in any sort of throbbing. But Marley still wailed when she saw her baby girl hooked up to a machine that was giving her oxygen to breathe.

Because of her work situation Marley was able to visit Annika everyday from the early start of visiting hours until usually the last fifteen minutes of visiting hours. She'd stay there and keep an eye on Annika, who was frequently asleep, and had humorous beliefs as she watched her baby girl sleep. Marley believed Annika was dreaming of being home with her parents in a gorgeous home with the most excellent dogs in the universe and a exquisite backyard that would be green as a spring when it became Spring. Planting flowers in the garden with her Mama or playing catch the ball with Daddy. Or toss the ball for the dogs to catch over and bring back to her.

Marley placed her gloved hand inside of the incubator and let Annika take a grasp on her fingers. Marley giggled.

"Hi baby," She said delicately for her baby girl to hear. "Daddy's going to come here, after work to visit you. I hope your enjoying yourself in there baby because as soon as you gain enough weight and mature to be stronger to survive the outside world, Daddy and I can take you home and we can start living the flawless golden family life that I've always dream of since I was a little girl." Marley leaned a bit closer to the incubated baby. "I love you Annika Rose Lynn." She beamed.

* * *

What felt like an hour later Marley was in the cafeteria getting some food. She didn't eat that morning or the night before because her stomach was in throbbing pain and she didn't want food to upset her stomach to any further extent. She got some cut up turkey, mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese (something she hated but it was either that or some goopy food that looked like it was moving!)

She sat down and poked the food for a while. She poked it again before taking a spoonful of the mashed potatoes. She eyeballed the revolting food full of fats and calories before grasping a deep breath.

"For you, Annika." She consumed the food in her mouth and commenced to gnaw it.

_'Not bad. Not appalling at all. And everyone says hospital food is the most nauseating food in the world, I have no idea how in the world they find it nauseating. I find it astoundingly delicious and superior than the food in high school…Sorry Mom, that's not what I projected! But you know what I mean. OK, this is still satisfactory, the food, it's…it's….it's VULGAR! Where's my napkin?_'

Marley took her napkin and discharged the food out into the napkin. She crumbled the napkin and threw it on the tray. She deathly scowled at the calories in front of her, mocking her again like they always did since high school. Marley desired to eat some more but not if the food was going to mock her as she ate the food.

She got up and took the tray. She threw it away, almost close to tears because she wanted to eat. She personally didn't want to eat, but she wanted to eat for Annika. She made herself a promise a long time ago that she was going to try and stay healthy for Annika so that Annika didn't grow up with a bulimic mother who lived in a hospital or mental house. She dreamed of Annika growing up with a mother who worked and lived at home and was deeply compassionate and entertaining and always trying to stay positive.

"Ghastly food. I guess the high school food was healthier." She said.

"And it was only good because a certain Rose made it appetizing." A voice from behind Marley stunned Marley. She turned to find a brown hair and brown eye boy beaming. He leaned in and kissed Marley on the lips. "And this Rose makes marvelous, scrumptious food too."

"Shut up." She said, pushing him away.

"Fine than I'll have to eat your grilled cheese sandwich that I personally—"

"Made?"

"—brought. Someone else made them." Ryder laughed. "Goes by the name Finn. He's been secretly addicted to these things since an event in high school."

"What happened?"

"Something about seeing Jesus on the food," Ryder said, perplexed himself, "Like a chip in the shape of a state or president kind of thing."

"My mom once found a rock in the shape of penguin once." Marley laughed. "A few years later when I was seven I found a rock in the shape of Mickey Mouse."

"Really? Where?"

"Disney World." Marley laughed.

"Not fair, that's cheating."

* * *

Marley took hold of Ryder's hand and half dragged him down the hall to the NICU. Once Ryder was geared up in the hospital gown and gloves the duet went inside the room and stood near Annika's incubator. The two of them beamed warmly at their daughter. Ryder squatted down so that he was almost eye to eye with Annika. He placed his hand inside and softly took grasped her teeny petite hand.

"Hi Annika." He said sensitively. "It's Daddy. How you doing in there?"

Marley took a large step backwards and observed the view. She smiled and giggled to herself as Ryder made funny faces at Annika. Ryder was the perfect father so far and he'd be a picture perfect father in the future. A better one than her own father, despite the fact that her father had his own reasons that prohibited him from being around Marley. Ryder was benevolent, an unbelievable listener, had marvelous beliefs of astuteness and comical. He would be the best father in the world to Annika, and future children.

And at this point in Annika's circumstances, Ryder was unbelievably astounding.

How I could ever imagine my life without Ryder right now? He could have had any other girl back in high school, in college, any time of point in life and he still opted me. And now when there's another life in our hands he still decided to be around, unlike those corny Lifetime Movies when the guy typically ditches the mother at this point in the afterbirth. _Goodness, how can I do this?_

She lost control of her laughter when she saw Ryder make a funny face at Annika; one that consisted of sticking his tongue out and touching nose while crossing his eyes.

_Oh God, what did I get myself into? _Marley laughed to herself.

* * *

**Yeay! First chapter is done. I'm so happy :)**

**Read and review please.**


	2. A Picture Worth A Thousand Memories

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**So the few lines/paragraphs are a bit of Marley's past...more detailed than the first story!**

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**2: A Picture Worth A Thousand Memories.**

The next day Marley had finished getting ready to go visit Annika. She was going later than usual because she was finishing up decorating the nursery room that her friends had pained and basically set up for the past several months.

It was a medium-large sized room. Brink pink walls with ghost white ceiling and along the bottom of the wall, the last two inches at the very least. Snow white curtains along the window that stood very high above the ground, that would soon have a lock in the future when the child learned how to walk on her two feet. A pale white drawer to the left of the door, with the top being the changing table for the newborn. Across from that against the other wall was the crib. Ghost white crib with cherry blossom pink mattress and a thin pale pink sheet. A few spaces over was a little light brown table stand that held up the lamp. Next to the table stand, set up diagonally in the room, was deep brown rocking chair with a white pillow seat tied onto the bars on the lower back. Next to the chair was the closet that was used for some clothes for now. The carpet was a light brown.

Marley loved the room. It was stunning and fit perfectly with the idea that Marley thought of when it was coming to nursery room ideas; not too much but not too little. She loved it. She sat down in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth, taking in everything.

_'She's going to be here soon. She'll be sleeping in this room in a few months.'_ Marley thought to herself. "I can't wait for Annika to get home."

"Me neither." Ryder said as he walked into the room, holding some photo albums in his hands. He went onto his knees next to Marley and said, "I've got something."

"What is it?"

Ryder held up a pink photo album with a white teddy bear on the front, in between it's hands was a long cream color scroll. Written in black ink was _**Annika Rose Lynn**_. "Figured we get a start on this right now. And thanks for writing her name down me. I almost put A-N-I-K-A down on the front." He smiled.

Marley had a hand over her mouth, her symbol of how blissful she was with whatever was in front of her. She took her hand away. "The baby album? You got one already?"

"Yeah, and see, on the inside cover to the left it had a huge picture of a pink rose flower. And as the pages go on, there's a few pink rose flowers on the pages. Two on the top sides and two on the bottom sides. And just a huge green vine connecting one to another." Ryder laughed. "It just had 'Rose' all over it."

"It's beautiful." Marley said, taking the photo album and opening the first few pages. The first page was the basic get to know the baby. But it was bare. "You didn't write in it yet?"

"We should to it together." Ryder said. "Also my spelling still kind of sucks. I'm not risking Annika looking back in this and screaming at me because I put one N instead of two N's."

**My Name**: Annika Rose Lynn  
**My Birthday:** October, 17  
**My Exact Time**: 2:15 AM  
**My Weight:** 2 lbs 2 oz  
**My Mommy:** Marley Elizabeth Rose-Lynn  
**My Daddy**: Ryder Shelley Lynn  
**Siblings**: None  
**Eye Color:** Dark brown  
**I look like….** Daddy, with Mommy's nose and mouth.  
**Cutest Feature**: Nose and Eyes

That was all they could write down for now, the rest would come later. Marley then notice the other two albums; a blue one and a white one. "If the white one is mine, is yours the blue one?"

* * *

Ryder nodded. He then stood up, took Marley by the hands and pulled her up, sat back down in the rocking chair and pulled Marley onto his lap. "You are about to witness Ryder Lynn's photo album." Ryder opened to the third page, where it began, showing an ultrasound photo of Ryder inside of his mom. Next to that was a newborn Ryder in his hospital cot. In black pen his mother's handwriting wrote: It's A…Boy! December 25, 1997.

"Look how adorable you use to be!" Marley commented, turning the page. "First bath too?"

"Shut up." Ryder smiled. "It's the only photo I hate. The rest I like."

Marley kept turning pages, laughing at all the photos of Ryder's babyhood. God he had the most photogenic kid she's ever met in her life. Always smiling in all the photos and making some sort of funny face. His baby book ended by the time he was seven, seeing the last photo of him on his seventh birthday with a Burger King crown on his head.

"Goodness, you were vigorous as a toddler." Marley chuckled. "How did your parents handle you?"

"Poison." He grinned, holding up the white book. "Marley Elizabeth Rose. Geeze, how did this happen?"

"The stork, silly." Marley smiled.

Ryder flipped through a few pages, laughing with each picture passing and another photo of a young Marley emerged with memories. Most of them were blissful ones with Marley and her mother, or Marley in the spring time planting flowers and a few with her father while she was growing up. But the ones with her and her father were also touching ones, making her miss her father.

* * *

He left her due to social problems in his life and didn't want Marley to be effected by his problems. Though he kept in contact with Marley by writing her letters, letters she found in a large box that she placed in the basement a long time ago when she and Ryder first moved into the house (not just the single one she found in the pocket of a jacket her father use to wear), Marley never opened them. She felt as if those were letters that apologized to her, asking for forgiveness about his walk out on her. She'd had forgiven him already. Even though she never had a chance to say goodbye in person. Her father, Nickolas Amos Rose, has passed away a year before Marley and Ryder got married, last year. So it had been two years since Marley's father died.

Her mother died while she was in college. Millie Rose passed away from a heart attack during Marley's sophomore year.

Marley was studying at Marymount Manhattan College, in New York, under the study of musical theater as well as some other classes. Usually alone in her room as she had the party type roommate, she was actually with Ryder when she received the call that night.

She felt miserable for days, depressed, disheartened and discontented with everything in her life. She felt numb. She had been having a hard time getting over her eating disorder, that started in high school during her sophomore year, whilst she was in college. Constantly not eating due to class schedule, working and studying and the free time she had she was with friends or Ryder. When Marley's mother died, it took a spin on Marley's life. The food tasted like shit and she could barely eat anything for months because of the tasteless flavors.

Ultimately when she got back to her dormitory and battled for two months with her bulimia, she began to eat again and being able to keep it inside of her until her body digested it by it's own means.

* * *

A while later after they finished going through their own baby books and talked about past memories, Ryder had fallen asleep on the rocking chair with his head nodding off to the side. Marley got off of him and finished getting ready for her visit to Annika. She kissed Ryder on the lips, still not waking him, and left.


	3. Flavorless Taste

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* * *

** 3: Flavorless Taste**

Halloween was a few days away and both Ryder and Marley haven't even gone out to get candy yet for the kids in their neighborhood. There had to be at least seven toddlers, fifteen children between the ages of 5-10, twenty teenagers and one house empty house that was next door to the Lynn house. Annika was the youngest child on the street.

The two of them took a trip down to the store where Ryder's inner child went undomesticated and he instantaneously began fast pacing around the store finding the best brands of the candy. Ryder could smell out the best bags of candy and the worst bags of candy in stores. He could smell if they were recently bought within in the last week or if they were over a week old. The longer the week, he'd skip and the recent he skip because he could sense they were a tad bit more pricey than the rest. Marley laughed and found it strange.

"Ryder you can barely make cereal without burning it. How can you sense candy prices?" She asked.

"I'm just that mind-boggling!" Ryder admitted with a bright beam grin. "This will forever come in handy for Halloween, just like it's always been in the past."

"Alright we'll I'm grabbing some cat headband with ears. My baby belly shirt is pretty worthless now." Marley said as she turned around and left for the costume end of the store.

* * *

At the other end Marley roamed around the costumes. She grabbed the cat ears headband and was now just staring at the other costumes. As she passed by some toddler costumes she started grinning brighter. She started to image the next Halloween with her, Ryder and Annika. Her ideas grew outrageous as she already had a plan in mind. A homemade princess Belle dress for herself, a homemade Cinderella dress for Annika and some fancy white suite for Ryder. She could do it, her mother taught her to sew and Marley knew to knit too. And she knew that Ryder would be willing to dress like that for the occasion.

Her mind brought her to crazy wanders that she didn't even notice someone stood in next to her, smiling, and waiting for her attention.

"Hi Marley."

Marley came back to reality and found herself face-to-face with Blaine. She grinned finding her best gay guy friend, with one hand holding candy and the other a carrier baring one of the twins he had with Kurt almost week ago. The twins being born two minutes apart, the first one of the set born ten minutes after Annika. "Hi Blaine! Who's this?"

"Mark." Blaine said. "Kurt's got Brookie."

"He's so cute!" Marley cooed, gazing at the little boy in the carrier. "I don't know who's sperm child he is, but either way he'll be a handsome man in the future."

"And Annika will be as stunning as her mother." Blaine complimented with a smile, creating an upward curve on Marley's lips. "Do you want to hold him?"

That stunned Marley. "Oh—I um, I—"

"It's fine." Blaine said, placing the carrier and the candy on the ground. He proceeded to take a now-awaking Mark out of his carrier. "Really, he loves behind held by people. He's a peoples person."

Marley giggled, putting her stuff on the shelf in front of her, and held her arms out. Blaine placed the child in Marley's arms, knowing that she knew how to hold a newborn properly.

It felt like everything in the world is perfect at that very moment. It was flabbergasting, life changing, the most beautiful feeling in the world. She couldn't wait until her baby girl was in her arms for the first time and that feeling, the feeling she had right now holding a newborn baby, would be ten times superior than at this current moment.

She practically didn't want to give the little baby back, but she had too. As soon as Mark got fussy she handed him back over to Blaine. After talking with Blaine for a few more minutes the two of them hugged goodbye and split up, going their different ways. Marley got the chocolates and made her way to the other side of the store where she found Ryder talking to Kurt. She stood there for a minute, grinning. Ryder was holding Brookie, lightly bouncing her and laughing with Kurt about something.

She stood there for a few more minutes before turning around and leaving Ryder for the front counter. She paid and went outside, texting him to let him know she was waiting outside for him and that the bus was coming in ten minutes. She pulled out her apple from her bag and took a bite out of. Gnawing it for a few seconds before spitting the apple out and chucking the apple into the street. "That was repulsive."

"Did your stepmother, The Queen, poison that?" Ryder asked walking out of the store and sitting next to Marley, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. He leaned in and kissed her cheek as she answered.

"Yes. It's gross."

"I'll make something when we get home." Ryder said. "So you just had to promise Blaine that we'd watch the kids on November second, didn't you?"

"They have plans that they really can't cancel. And besides I'd figure it be a good start on parenting before our little one gets home."

"Didn't we promise Clarissa that we'd watch Max that day?"

Marley thought for a new minutes, then it hit her. "No, she asked Melody, who asked Jake, who asked us because Jake's spending the day with his brother and Melody is working. But in general, yes I do remember that. So it's one more kid, what can happen?"

"Two screamers and a crazy five year old." Ryder laughed. "I held Brookie. She's cute."

"I held Mark." Marley rested her head on his shoulder and shifted a bit closer to him. "He is just as charming. I want Annika home soon."

Ryder cuddled her closed, placing his head on the top of hers. "She'll be home soon. Don't worry."

* * *

Back home while Ryder was making food, Marley put some finishing decorations on the outside of the house by placing her carved pumpkin on the doorsteps. Once she adjusted it, placed the candle inside for when it became dark and hung a few more spiders on the windows, Ryder called her inside. The second Marley got inside she could smell blueberry banana bread. Her favorite brand of banana bread. And it didn't smell burned either.

"Blueberry banana bread? And it's not burnt either?" She asked, sitting down. "Did you make this?"

"I promise I did. I actually timed everything on time." He said, cutting a piece for her.

"And you remembered to turn the oven off?"

Ryder's eyes widen when she said those words. He dropped the knife and quickly turned around to the stove and turned it off. During that time Marley took the piece he cut, plus a little extra, as she craved a little more. She took a bite out of it and smiled. "Not bad, not bad at all."

An hour later while Marley was washing her hands she felt a grumble in her stomach. She felt disgusting and wanted to get rid of the banana bread. She turned to her left and faced down at the toilet. She deliberated in her mind for a few seconds.

"No. I'm staying alive for Ryder and Annika." She said to herself. "I will not do that. I will not go back to doing that anymore. I don't need support group but I will continue to not put my fingers in the back of my throat. No matter how much I despise my body."


	4. Young Ducklings

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**Pay attention to the conversation between Marley and Ryder when it comes to Max and his mother, Clarissa. I promise this will be a huge part coming up very, very soon.**

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**4: Young Ducklings**

Two days passed since Halloween night. Marley was up early in the morning, as usual, and opened the back door for the huge dogs now so they could do their morning business. She showered and took out from one of the closets CandyLand and Clue, her two favorite board games from when she was little. She set them up on the living room table and made herself to the kitchen to make toast and coffee for Ryder.

A while later Ryder woke up and came downstairs, finding Marley reading the newspaper and grinning like crazy. "How many sugary candies did you have last night?"

"Seven." Marley answered. "But the kids are coming over today and I'm so exited about it!" She grinned, looking up at the recently woken up Ryder.

"Yeah you wouldn't stop talking about it last night. I swear your wacky Mama Marley genes had ultimately kicked in."

"I'm sorry I'm just so excited. I mean, this is like practice for when Annika comes home." Marley said with a huge grin on her face. "We'll know what she wants, when she wants, how to do it like burping and changing diapers and—"

"Whoa, calm down Marley." Ryder laughed sitting next to her. "I know. And it'll be kind of warm out today, the unusual warm weather we have in November, so I've got a baseball for Max and I to throw around."

"Sounds like fun." Marley said. She then frowned and looked at the newspaper.

"What's wrong?" Ryder asked, suddenly wondering what bothered Marley. "Is it Annika?"

She shook her head. "No, Max."

"Oh..." Ryder said, then it hit him like a light bulb. "Oh, you mean Max's mom?"

Marley nodded. A few days after Annika's birth, on October 20, Max's mom (and Melody's sister), Clarissa got into a car accident and didn't make it. Max was still kind of in shock and was staying with his father, Jerry, for the time being. (Although Melody hated the fact that Jerry had custody of Max). "I can't even imagine what it's like for him." Marley's hand began to tremble.

Ryder held on to one of her hands to relax it. He squatted next to her and kissed the side of her head. "I know," He whispered. "And he's only five."

"And Melody's freaking out because Jerry, who lives in Cincinnati and barely even knows a thing about Max; got custody of him." Marley sighed. "Melody loves having Max around and can't stand the fact that he lives far from her now."

"Doesn't Melody already hate Jerry? Like since the college years in New York?"

"Yeah then Melody freaked out because when Clarissa moved from New York to Columbus, Jerry 'coincidentally' had a job offer in Cincinnati, which isn't too far from Columbus." Marley turned to Ryder. "Melody's crazy, but she's got her reasons."

"Oh god, but not as crazy as crazy Mama Marley." Ryder laughed and kissed her again.

* * *

Two hours into babysitting Ryder and Marley had everything down with the kids. The twins were fed their bottles and Max was outside throwing a tennis ball against the house. During the process of diaper changing, the two parent-babysitters found themselves covered in pee that was produced by the crazy crying newborn.

And boy, a crying newborn gave one a bloody ear. Ryder was freaking out in his mind, wondering how in hell his parents could do all of this? Let alone, how they did this with a newborn when they had the other child or children around them. Marley, on the other hand, somehow wasn't going crazy and instead laughed it all of.

Thought she felt like she'd lose it eventually.

* * *

An hour later, eleven thirty, Ryder was feeding Mark from the bottle. "Dude, you eat a lot. You're going to be the next football player at the high school." His phone rang. His phone was over on the end table to his right. He looked between the phone and the child, trying to figure out how to grab the phone.

Max came back in and walked passed his cell phone, heading towards the bathroom. "Hey, Max, can you answer my phone for me, please and ask them to hold on a minute."

The blonde hair and blue eye boy glared between the phone and Ryder for a few mere seconds before walking away. Ryder kept asking him to get the phone, calling after him, nicely. "Max. Max, please, answer the phone please. Max. Max!"

Max just kept walking though.

"Crap." Ryder said, as the phone call ended. It rang again two seconds later. Ryder took the bottle out of the boys mouth, causing him to cry automatically. "Sorry. I'm sorry, Little Guy."

* * *

In the other room Marley was finishing up lunch while dangling her house key in front of Brookie, keeping her entertained. Ryder came in in a second, a slightly worried expression on his face. "Hey Marley?"

"Yeah?" Marley turned.

"There's something going on at work. I've got to go, for about an hour. I swear I won't do this again to you, but it's kind of important."

"Okay. I've got this all." Marley said.

"Want me to take Max?" He asked, thinking it take some hands off of Marley. "It'll take some craziness off you."

"An hour you said?" Ryder nodded. "Sure, as long as there is something to do."

Five minutes passed. Marley heard a scream in the living room and when she went in there, Ryder was coming out with hands over his ears. "Max's staying with you."

* * *

Half an hour later Marley sat down at the table with her in one chair, Max in the other chair and the twins in their carriers on the counter top behind Marley. Marley slowly ate her food as Max chomped his macaroni and cheese down quickly. Marley smiled watching him, but her mind was somewhere else.

_Okay so Max's mom won't be getting him until six tonight_._ And the twins are here until four. So what if I get a nurse or someone to watch the kids and I just visit her for a few minutes. That wouldn't be too bad. Crap, how much money would I pay for the bus ride? Me, Max…the twins? Do the twins count? Could I count them as one or are they individual? Oh and Ryder. So, that's be a few dollars, two per person. Ten dollars? That's insane. No, maybe the twins won't count. Or maybe they will count. Oh I hope not._

"Marley?" Max's little voice spoke up. "Is…Anna-ka?" He had to think of the name his aunt told him earlier. "Is Anna-ka going to be okay?"

Marley smiled and nodded. "Yes, _Annika_, will be fine." She corrected the pronunciation of her daughter's name.

"Ah-Knee-Ka?" Max repeated what he heard. My father was right; that is an odd name and pronunciation."

Marley gave a faint smile. "Daddy is crazy guy."

"Can I go see Annika? Aunt Melody says I can't because she's small." Max stated.

"Not today, Max." Marley stated, now realizing that it was going to be impossible to visit Annika tonight. She really wanted to go visit Annika but this would be too impossible for her to do. "Maybe another time."

Marley ended up not eating her food. She put the leftovers away and settled herself on the couch with the two sleeping twins in their carriers in front of her, Max sitting behind the front of the carriers and watching the Disney movie Marley put on. Marley watched half of it until she fell asleep.

* * *

Several hours later Marley woke up on the couch, feeling totally rested, and found the time on the t.v clock It was eight thirty. She sat up, stretching, and got off the couch and heard Ryder in the kitchen. She walked in and found Ryder heating up the leftover lunch food.

"How long was I out?" She asked.

"I got back and you were asleep. So you were knocked out for a few hours." He said.

"And you didn't wake me?"

"Two reasons; one you're too cute to wake up." He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her in her a kiss on the lips. "And Max gave me a dirty look and threw his shoe at me."

"Max? But he's a sweetie."

"Not today. He's been angry with me all day." Ryder said. "I have no idea what happened to him today?"

"I think he's just letting out his anger." Marley said. "I mean, he's five. He's going to live without his mother for the rest of his life. I'd throw my shoe at someone if they were angry with me."

"But because I wanted to wake you?" Ryder smiled and lifted an eyebrow. "Maybe he thinks your going to be his new Mama."

"I wouldn't mind." Marley laughed. "It was fun today though. Now I want our baby girl home." She said, resting her head against Ryder.

"I know." Ryder rested his head on her, after he kissed it. "Me too."


	5. Miss-Giving

**Hello!**

**Just FYI: For anyone who read 'Sisters', I'm going to start uploading that story as of today. So read it if you want, and if you haven't read Sisters.**

**Go. Read. It. Now. Please :)**

**Song: **Kind And Generous/Thank You.  
**Original: **Natalie Merchant.

* * *

**5: Miss-Giving.**

Days passed and Marley and Ryder visited Annika almost everyday. With each day they went there, her healthy either remained the same or it went up a little. They loved the sound of those words and not 'going down.'. With each day they went they both got excited about the fact that their daughter was growing stronger. But deep inside Marley got a little depressed. Seeing her baby girl inside of the incubator, hooked up to machines to help her breathe and a large hat covering her head for warmth; barely able to see her baby girl. It wasn't the stunning image she'd ever imagined.

It was Thanksgiving. Usually Marley and Ryder went out to eat with Jake, Melody, Vinessa, Joe, Finn and Unique to some restaurant to celebrated the holiday then go to someone's home and sing karaoke until midnight. But this year was different, Kurt and Blaine were hosting a Thanksgiving Special-Musical this year, as Blaine named it. Everyone was invited; She, Ryder, Jake, Melody, Finn, Rachel, Mercedes, Sam, Santana, Brittany, Artie, Rory, Sugar, Quinn, Puck, Mike, and Tina, maybe?

Marley had finished getting ready for Kurt and Blaine's Thanksgiving meal at some hotel dinning room they rented for the evening, months in advance. She adjusted her headband as Ryder came in fixing his tie. "Can those guys make us go anymore formal?" He laughed. He looked just in time to see Marley. She looked beautiful; spaghetti strap brown dress at knee length with white ribbon around her waist with her favorite brown ankle boots, wearing a gold double headband that matched with the silver heart pendant he bought her for her first Valentine's Day in Lima. "Wow."

"Do I look good?" She asked, being self-cautious again. "I mean this is the first time I'm going to a formal type party since having a baby. I really want to make sure I look good."

"You look amazing." Ryder said, still eyeballing her.

"You sure? I'll still shaky about how I look—I haven't lost all the baby weight yet and I—"

Ryder quickly took her hands in his, gave her a reassuring kiss, then pulled out and said, "Marley you look amazing. And everyone knows you _just_ had a baby a little less than a month ago. They know you're not a phony camera addicting money grubber, you know like a Kardashian or Hillsdales, and get liposuction within two days of birth." He laughed. "Trust me, you're beautiful."

Marley smiled, feeling her confidence boost up again. Somehow Ryder always made her confidence boost when she felt down in the dumps. "I'm almost done, give me a few minutes." She kissed Ryder who left for downstairs. Marley grabbed her loose, long sleeve, white cardigan sweater. She grabbed her bag, fixed her headband once more, and left to meet Ryder downstairs.

* * *

Two bus rides, five screaming children, two drunk guys hitting on Marley and a sultry woman hitting on Ryder later, the duet found themselves at the hotel place where Kurt and Blaine rented their Thanksgiving meal event. Inside after showing invitations they followed the sign that read 'Hummel and Anderson Thanksgiving Extravaganza!' until they hit a large dining room with a long table covered in white cloth, fancy chairs with silver plates and silverware. It had to come in second place to what The Royal Family would have at their dinner.

"Holy crap, we're in the Royal Family dining room." Ryder joked. "That's crazy."

"I feel so funny to be here. I feel… under dressed." Marley commented. Though she was use to the feeling as she grew up having to wear church dresses to formal places where all the girls have the newest dresses. Like when she was invited to senior prom by Artie and her dress was an off shoulder pink dress with black polka dots. She felt self-conscious and under dressed.

Ryder held her hand tightly in his and moved his mouth over to her ear. "You look fine, I promise. You're gorgeous."

Marley smiled, leaning her head on his shoulders until the sound of fast running heels and two arms wrapped around her waist. "Lesbian lover!"

Marley turned and found her 'lesbian lover', Vinessa Vachula Vaughan. The light brown hair girl, who stood a little taller than Marley (with or without heels), pulled her away from Ryder's arm and lifted the girl up, hugging her. "Vinessa!"

"Marley!" The girl shrieked, now spinning her around. "Damn did you lose weight or am I that strong?"

"How many times have you gone to the gym?" Marley laughed.

"Zero." Vinessa laugh, placing Marley down. "Oh God, you have no fucking clue what's been going on this week. First off—"

"Hold on," Marley said and turned back to Ryder. "Hey I'm getting a drink with her. I'll be right back."

"Take your time." Ryder said and left to go talk to Finn.

* * *

Vinessa grasped Marley's hand and half dragged the young mother across the room to where Unique, Brittany and Santana stood talking. Marley sat down in a chair, listening to the girls for a while, until her mind wandered off into space.

She tried not to think of Annika, but it was difficult. How could she be here, celebrating this day of being thankful and giving thanks, when her baby girl was fighting for her life inside a hospital? Hooked up to machines that were helping her breathe and that infuriating beeping racket it makes as each breath was taken by her.

_"I want her home soon. I want her home, now. I crave her breathing chest rubbing alongside me and her baby inhalation on my face. I need her eyes to see me, and Ryder, and only us. Not those doctors. I desire to my little hearts content that Annika come home to Ryder and I and to start growing in our house and not in that miniature oxygen container of horrors. I just need Annika home."_

She came back to life when she felt Ryder tapping her shoulders and telling her that they had to sit at the table. She followed him and sat down next to him at the long table. Next to her was Unique and directly across from her was Santana. Kurt and Blaine both stood at one end of the long table, holding up glasses and ready to make some sort of corny speech.

"Thank you all so very much for joining us on Thanksgiving. Blaine and I decided to make this Thanksgiving a little bit different than the usual. We've got traditional food and new foods to the table here. Turkey, ham, macaroni and cheese, kugel—something that Vinessa and Jake each made and that's some sort of Jewish pudding casserole— sweet potatoes, white rice, black beans, bread cubes, apples, raisins, stuffing, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, gravy, creamed peas, cream of mushrooms soup, yam." Kurt explained. "This is probably one of the best families I've ever had, other than my Dad in my life and now with Blaine and I's little stars."

"Yes and in the words of Henry Ward Beecher_ 'Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.'_ and so let us share our gratitude to everyone for this near end of the year and share what we're thankful for."

"Pretty Pony, when did you become this clichéd ass My Little Pony?" Santana smirked her question. "I'll start. I'm appreciative for my dazzling, marvelous, brilliant wife," She placed her hand on Brittany's shoulder. "I'm also thankful that, in all the years it took her, my grandmother has finally accepted me back into her life."

Brittany stood up and said, "I'm thankful for having Santana and Lord Tubbington in my life. But also that people have mistaken the Mayan calendar again and we're not going to die for another few years. And also being nominated for a internet award for Fondue For Two, looking young enough to get candy on Halloween without being questioned and…" She went on for several more minutes, making statements that confused people.

"About three hundred fifty seven years," Sam added in. "Three hundred fifty seven years until the Mayan calendar is true. I'm thankful for that too."

"I'm thankful for being nominated for a Grammy this February," Mercedes said next. "And of course the New Directions for helping me get there."

"I'm thankful for having great friends, a great family—including my new half niece and half nephew—and the master's degree in teaching." Finn said.

"Well I'm thankful that I came back here in time for this wonderful meal," Rachel said. "And that I have the many great Broadway opportunities back home in New York, including an upcoming audition of the role of Dolly Levi in the Broadway production Hello, Dolly!" Rachel commented.

"Let me guess, a Barbra Streisand thing, right?" Vinessa asked. "Chick with the odd eyebrows," She looked directly at Rachel. "You will never be Barbra Streisand! Why don't you just get someone to find out her social security number? At least then you'd have it and you'd officially be the real Barbra Streisand."

"I will never be Barbra Streisand, but I WILL BE Barbra Streisand!" Rachel said as she sat down quickly.

"And I'm the next Judy Garland." Vinessa joked, taking her glass and held it up. "I'm thankful for the best people in my life—"

As everyone kept speaking and giving thanks to one another and to the things in their life, Marley glowered at the silver plate in front of her and thought deeply about everything in front of her. The food began to mock her in their taunting voices.

_'Ew, you're gross. You're fat, stop being such a fat-ass because you already carry the circus fat genes in the family. Remember your mother?'_ Her eyes widen and her breathing became a little deeper as a voice inside her head spoke to her_. 'Marley you don't need to eat all of this. Just take a few small bites of some of the foods and that will be it for the night. Don't eat too much, Marley. You don't need all of that disgusting, vomiting tasting, revolting Thanksgiving cuisines.'_

Marley felt Ryder tap her. He grasped her hand and with a confident grin he pulled her up with him. With his arm wrapped around her waist he cleared his throat and spoke.

"I'm sure I can speak for Marley and I when I say we thank you all for the support and prayers for the past few weeks. It's been, uh, a difficult past few weeks for us but we're both glad to have you guys all around. So, uh, thanks for everything guys." He then turned to Marley, thinking she say something. She just smiled and sat down quickly.

_Marley say something! Say what is always on your mind during this holiday. Maybe you can finally stop having these thoughts and move on from it. Say it. NOW!_

"Wait—I've got something to say!" Marley said as she stood up quickly. It was then she realized she interrupted Rory in the middle of his. "Oh, I uh, I…um, uh…"

"Go ahead. I can wait."

_Okay Marley! This is your chance! Speak up girl! Speak up!_

"Um... I..." She choked up. "I—uh—ditto what Ryder said."

She sat down quickly, her cheeks becoming beet red.

* * *

The rest of the evening consisted of poking her food and eating very slowly. She cut up her food to tiny bits and eat them. Whenever she felt like she was eating too much, when on the outside she wasn't eating enough, she take Ryder's hand and grasp it and turn to him with sad eyes. Ryder turned back to Marley with confident eyes and say or mouth to her, "You're beautiful. Don't worry about anything."

After a few hours of eating, everyone was dancing to the music that was being played in the room. Marley sat down for most of it as she was thinking deeply about all the food she had eaten. She felt gross and the food was revolting, but she couldn't get rid of it because she had to stay healthy for Annika, Ryder and herself.

Ryder pulled Marley onto the dance floor just in time for a slow song to start. Marley giggled and leaned her head on his shoulder Ryder placed his hand on the curve of her hip, and took her free hand and placed it on his shoulder. Then her took her other one and took it in his free hand. He brought her closer to him and started swaying them back and forth, as they were slow dancing to the song.

_Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na._

_You've been so kind and generous, I don't know how you keep on giving_

_For your kindness I'm in debt to you_

_For your selflessness, my admiration_

_For everything you've done, you know I'm bound, I'm bound to_

_thank you for it..._

_na na na na na na na na na na na na na na ._

_You've been so kind and generous, I don't know how you keep on giving_

_For your kindness I'm in debt to you_

_And I never could have come this far without you_

_For everything you've done, you know I'm bound, I'm bound to_

_thank you for it..._

_Na Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Oh, I want to thank you for so many gifts you gave with love and tenderness,_

_I wanna thank you_

_I want to thank you for your generosity, the love and the honesty that you gave me_

_I want to thank you, show my gratitude, my love and my respect for you,_

_I wanna thank you_

_Oh I want to thank you, thank you, thank you,_

_thank you, thank you, thank you._

* * *

By the end of the night, close to midnight, everyone was getting ready to leave. Before Marley left to meet up with Ryder outside, she went to the bathroom.

After washing her hands she placed her hands on her stomach. The food was churning in her stomach, making her sick to her stomach and feel nausea in the pit of it. She turned to the stall behind her and glared deadly at the toilet.

_Well….maybe just this once._ She thought. She went into the stall and went to her knees.

Within a matter of minutes the feeling of most of the food coming back up came back to her. That acid, burning gagging sensation that killed her and made her cry out in gagging pain. It was terrible and dreadful as she kept puking for a few more minutes.

When she felt that just about everything in her stomach was gone, Marley pulled back up from the toilet and flushed the toilet. She took a few strawberry breathe mints and went to wash her hands. She looked into the mirror and saw her weak face. "I'm sorry." she said to her reflection.

* * *

She left and met Ryder outside. He was waiting for Finn to pull up and give them a ride home in his truck. He turned and smiled when he saw Marley coming to stand next to him. "Hey," He then saw what her face looked. "Hey are you okay?" He abruptly became anxious about Marley. He came closer to her and held her by her waist.

Marley nodded. "I'm fine. I just, I think, a little bit too much today." She said with a warm smile on her face. "I'll be fine, I just need to get some sleep."

"Okay." Ryder said then leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I love you. You were pretty awesome tonight, you were fine."

"I love you too." She said, though she felt dreadful for what she had done in the bathroom. _Hopefully Ryder doesn't suspect a thing. I'm going to stop now. I need to stop right now. For Ryder, Annika and myself._


	6. Bedtime Blues

**Hello!**

**So I heard a rumor that Glee won't start until September... NO! It's bad enough I have to wait almost two more months, don't make it longer!**

* * *

**6: Bedtime Blues.**

December 4th.

A few nights later Marley was in the shower, facing forward like she usually always did. Since she gave birth she had been avoiding as much as possible from seeing her body in the mirror. It was easier said than done at the most part. Sure a few times she saw herself in the mirror but she'd look at her face and not her body. Her face, a little gaunt, wasn't too gaunt, unlike her body. So she'd look at her face more than the body herself. Plus the scar from her c-section just reminded her that it was her fault.

She felt responsible for her baby's health. Although it was her baby's heart, she kept telling herself that her baby's heart health was related to puking.

She was singing in the shower to keep her mind off. Although she knew for a fact that she couldn't keep her mind off of things. But nothing was working for her, as usual, so she just began to image her future. Not just holding Annika in her arms, singing to her little baby girl with Ryder right next to her. The two of them teaching her how to walk, talk and sing silly songs together like Marley did with her own father before he left. But she also dreamed of finding a new job that would allow her to sing on the radio, like her previous job. Only this time there wouldn't be a Theodore Cooper-type person (hopefully!) and she could work certain hours. She and Ryder agreed that Marley go to work in the morning and come back around three, when Ryder would leave for work after having to switch shifts with someone at work.

She got excited as she continued to think about the future. She started to giggle about it.

* * *

When Marley got out of the shower and dried off she put on her tank top and underwear until she realized she forgot to grab her pajama bottoms downstairs in the basement, in her laundry basket. Since it was just her up, Ryder had gone to bed earlier, she left the bathroom and ran down the stairs quickly She grabbed the only clean pair she had, pajama shorts, and put them on. When she got upstairs and into the bedroom she saw to her sudden right was the large mirror. She stood there, deciding if she should stay there longer or not.

_Don't do this Marley! Don't look at yourself! One side of her brain told her._

_Do it Marley! Just see if you've gained too much weight. Come on, do it fatty. Do it you little fat girl. Come on, do it. The other side convinced her._

The argument continued for several minutes before Marley faced the mirror and studied herself for a few minutes. With the only light coming from the lamp next to the mirror, she could barely see herself. All she saw was some parts of her body that, literally, stuck out the most. She obviously still had her baby belly so she stuck out the most in her torso area. The surgery scar didn't hurt at much anymore and it looked like the scar was forming healthy, but she saw her fingers. Those skeleton, bony fingers sticking out like a Jack-In-The-Box toy. White as a ghost, from the lack of eating and the constant purging she's done for the past few days.

She had her reasons for the purging. Every time she ate food it taste okay at first but as soon as it was in her stomach, or sometimes when it was just in her mouth, it suddenly become sickening and she didn't want to finish chewing it or absorbing it. So she spit it out in a napkin. And, if she timed it correctly when Ryder was home, she'd go into the bathroom and puke. However it was easier when she was just home alone while Ryder was working.

* * *

She took a few deep breathes, trying to keep that one voice in her head to shut up. The one that kept mocking her and calling her fat and that she needed to keep purging and find laxative pills to take to get rid of everything. She managed to shut the voice up, turn off the light, and laid in the bed and covered the lower half of her body. She laid on her back and glared at the ceiling. The voice was trying to come back and mock Marley but Marley was shutting it up by singing a song in her head.

She suddenly felt the beds weight shift and seconds later a large, warm defined muscle wrap around her tiny waist and pull her over to their side. Marley giggled as she kissed Ryder's bare chest and snuggled closer to him. Ryder kissed the top of Marley's head.

"Hi beautiful." Ryder mumbled his words, half way asleep. "You take forever in the bathroom just to get ready for bed." He kissed her.

"I had to get my pajama bottoms from the basement." Marley told him.

"Okay," He said as she snuggled closer to her. Ryder knew what Marley had just done, checking herself out in the mirror. Although he didn't want her to know that he knew about it. So he played cool with it and attempted to make her feel better by snuggling closer to her and just saying words that he knew she loved to hear. "Did I mention lately you're beautiful?"

"No." She joked.

"Well you're most angelic woman I've ever met in my life. Sometimes I don't think I deserve you, so I should just leave my not so angelic face and get out of town."

"Good. Because then Annika won't have to live with you, an over protective father of future boyfriends to come. She can have as many boyfriends as she wants and she can do whatever she wants." Marley laughed as she lifted her head and kissed his nose. "And if that means pulling a Quinn Febray, than let it be."

"What? As in…the result of Quinn and a Puckerman?" Ryder asked.

"Now with MTV having a show, 16 And Pregnant, and the spin-off, Teen Mom, we can be as rich as a Hillsdale and Royal Family's total income mixed with the Hilton family income, plus the Motta family income."

"Good God, no way is she going on that crap show!" Ryder yelled. "If you're going to raise her like that than I'll at least stay and teach her the proper meanings of life: Being a lady and punching teenage-sex-driven assholes in their guts and dicks." Ryder said as he kissed her mouth. "But truthfully spoken, you're picturesque gorgeous."

"And you're handsome yourself." She said, pulling his neck down so their mouths were kissing again.

Eventually the two of them were making out, with Ryder on top and Marley on the bottom, and Ryder taking Marley's top off and kissing her chest, as Marley began to pull off his shirt.


	7. The First Noel

**Hello!**

**Rumors are true! Glee starts SEPTEMBER 19!**

* * *

**7: The First Noel**

December 5th.

Marley awoke the next morning feeling a little bit rejuvenated than she did yesterday. Surprisingly Ryder was already awake as Marley turned over and found his side of the bed vacant and cold. She sat in bed a little longer, thinking about last night with him. It was the first time they did that since Marley had given birth on October 17th. She sighed and smiled before she got out of bed, got dressed in one of Ryder's t-shirts and put her pajama shorts back on.

She got down the stairs and met up with Ryder in the kitchen who was sitting down with a bowel of cereal in his hands. Marley walked over and stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck so that his head was against her chest and she leaned over and leaned down a little to kiss the top of him. "Good morning, Early bird."

"Hey," Ryder reached for the back of her hair and patted it. "How'd you sleep last night?"

"A couple of odd dreams. Stevie Wonder gave me a bouquet of puppies, John Stamos gave me hairspray and Lord Tubbington was the king of Newfoundland and made all Newfoundland dogs convert into scientology." She told him, hugging him closer. "But other than that it was a good sleep."

"Want to go see Annika after lunch?" He asked as she un-hugged him and went to the sink for a glass of water.

"Yes!" Marley said, excited. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Ryder smiled and went back to his cereal. Minutes later he saw Marley leaving the room and noted that she didn't have anything to eat. "Hey, Marley, want something?"

"What?" She questioned.

"You didn't eat anything." His tone of voice and facial expression was that of a questionable one, unsure of why Marley didn't eat anything. "Want me to make a smoothie or pancakes?"

"And make the kitchen a mess or burn this section of the house down?" She asked. Then in a British accent she said, "Bloody hell!"

"I was asking Marley, not you Ramsey." Ryder laughed. "I won't burn things down I swear."

"Okay." She forced her answer out. As she took a seat and Ryder got up to start a pancake. She glared up at the ceiling. Thinking to herself, God I hope I can eat this!

A burned black pancake and putting out a fire later, Marley was in the bedroom finding something to wear. She ended up wearing jean skirt with white tights and a white off the shoulder shirt. Once dressed with her knee high brown boots on and her teeth brushed she made her way down the stairs and found Ryder, holding her green army jacket in his hands.

* * *

Twenty minutes later the two of them were at the hospital and walking down to the NICU where they found the incubator their little baby was in and watched her until a nurse came in. Though still tiny from low calories restriction from when Marley was pregnant with her, she seemed to be a bit bigger than when they saw her last week. In an instant that they were next to her Marley could no longer contain her happiness about how big her baby girl has grown.

She bended down so that she with face-to-face with the baby. "Hi Annika. It's Mommy," She said with a smile as Ryder bended next to her. "and it's Daddy. How are you doing in there, baby girl?"

She ignored all the beeping sounds around her as she put her hand inside and touched the tiny hands. Ryder went to the other side of the incubator and looked down from the top, seeing a small child inside breathing. Heart breaking scene that he saw in his eyes, but smiled when his eyes gazed over back to a smiling Marley. Sure she's smiled a few times lately and during the course of her pregnancy, but this Marley smiled a lot more and seemed more optimistic about her life at the moment. And that made him jovial.

"Ryder she's got my nose!" Marley said in a happy tone, examining the tiny face inside. "Wow she looks a lot like you."

"Cuter than I was at this age." He laughed. He paused, thinking of his words. "Wait, no…uh…. At least I know what I looked like…when I was…inside…. My mother?"

Marley laughed at Ryder's sudden statement alteration. She looked back again and grinned at the little girl, who did almost look like Ryder when he was a newborn. Sort of. "Are they serving you good food, or should I go and get something else for you? Because I know for experience that hospital food is, without wanting to swear in front of you, the most nauseating food in the world. Not even the people in jail would eat something like hospital food."

"If she's a Lynn, she'll eat anything." Ryder told her. "We got a massive desire for food."

Marley looked up, giving a specific concerned look to Ryder when he said that. "But not too much food." Her tone was stern and serious. Ryder gave her the same face and in the same tone he said, "But not too less of food, either."

Fifteen minutes later after laughing, talking, taking a few pictures and a video later Ryder and Marley sat down and, with Marley on his lap, watching their little baby girl. She was asleep now, possibly dreaming of her new home with her parents and pets and awaiting her future.

"You think she'll be home by Christmas?" Ryder asked.

"I hope so. That'll be the best present for me." Marley said. She got off Ryder's lap and squatted down so that she was facing her baby girl again. "Get better for us by Christmas, Annika. That'll be the best present Daddy and I can receive from you. Okay? Let this be your first noel."

She quietly laughed to herself as the child inside opened it's mouth than closed it. That must be a promise. And baby girl, I promise I won't vomit anymore. Okay? Marley then sang her favorite Christmas song.

_The First Noel, the angels did say_

_Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay_

_In fields where they lay keeping their sheep_

_On a cold winter's night that was so deep._

_Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel_

_Born is the King of Israel_

_They looked up and saw a star_

_Shining in the East beyond them far_

_And to the earth it gave great light_

_And so it continued both day and night._

_Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel_

_Born is the King of Israel._

Marley smiled, knowing how to finish the last stanza.

_Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel_

_Born is the Queen of Lima, Ohio._

By the ending of the song it looked as if their little baby was sleeping again. Marley smiled, holding her baby girl's hand once more and giving it a soft tight grasp. "Sleep well, Annika."

Ryder smiled, "She's going to sing just as well as you. You've got magic in your throat Marley."

I've heard that before. Marley thought to herself. "And you."

* * *

After a while the two of them left. As they left the hospital ground, holding hands and Marley leaning against Ryder, he started to think about something. "Hey, Marley?"

"Yes?"

"How are we gong to feed her?" He asked kind of quietly. Marley looked up at him with a confused facial expression. "I mean bottled milk or…" His eyes moved towards her chest then back up. "That way."

"Oh," Marley said then laughed. "I'm going to breastfeed. It's easier and it's a form of close bonding, and the milk is better. Why?"

"On no reason, just….curious." Ryder said.

Knowing himself the reason he asked.


	8. Distasteful Promise

**Hello!****  
**

* * *

**8: Distasteful Promise.**

December 11th.

Marley laid awake in bed. She couldn't sleep. Too much thinking in her mind but she couldn't stop worrying about the worries in her mind. She just laid there and tried to ignore everything.

But she couldn't.

She was terrible. She'd broken her promise to her baby.

* * *

For the past six days Marley had done nothing but read, watch television, walk around the house, go to the store at least once and sleep. Just taking everything easy and with a husband like Ryder, who had been home with her for three of these days, bringing food was his special treat. However after eating the food she'd feel nauseous and sick to her stomach.

It was then that she would make her way to the bathroom. She'd go in, close and lock the door, turn on the sink and while it was running she'd get on her knees and make herself throw up a few times until she felt nothing left inside of her. Ryder never came up and checked up on her, so Marley called it a safe move and left the bathroom after flushing, washing her hands and taking a few breathe mints.

The day she went to the store she bought some laxatives, different kinds, so she could lose the baby weight quickly. She hid them in her makeup bag under the sink; somewhere where Ryder never thought to look. She took them every time after she ate a meal or used the bathroom. Once after dinner she took some laxatives and left the bathroom, bumping into Ryder.

"That was quick," He said in a slight suspicious tone.

"Ear wax cleaning." She said.

She was sure he bought it. He smiled and laughed after she said that, so she was sure that he bought it. He never questioned her again about it, but she sometimes felt like he knew about and was just waiting for her to break down and admit that she did it. She knew he wouldn't be mad, but still.

* * *

Marley laid awake for a few more minutes, trying to sleep. She turned her head to face Ryder who was still sleeping. She smiled as she observed his facial features. Ryder looked so young and peaceful when he slept; his breathing was just as soft as his eyes were as he slept. She could tell he was having a fantastic dream as that familiar Ryder Lynn smile appeared on his face again. She loved that smile, it was her favorite smile to see on him. His dreamy smile, as she called it. Not a twitch, not a spasm, barely any movement of his chest rising and falling with each intake of air such was the depth of his oblivion. This was a sleepy Ryder at total peace, at rest, at one with himself, rejuvenating his mind and muscles before the onset of yet another day of turmoil and crazy.

Marley felt her stomach rumble again. She didn't eat anything for breakfast or lunch. Or even dinner, something Ryder had wished Marley did. You've barely ate anything today Marley, at least eat something for dinner.

She got up from the bed as quietly as she could without making any large movements that would wake Ryder.

She mad her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, turning the light on, and scrambled around for ten minutes trying to find a small snack to eat with a glass of warm milk.

At least if I eat then drink warm milk, I'll fall asleep and not force myself to get up and vomit, right? She thought to herself as she grabbed the bread from the fridge and the peanut butter in the cabinet.

A few minutes later Marley sat at the table with two pieces of peanut buttered toast with heated up milk next to her. She gazed at the food for several seconds, wondering if she could hold the food down or not. After hesitating, she took a bite of her food and chewed it slowly; savoring the buttery taste of the peanuts and the crunchy-ness of the toast. She loved it and drank the milk with it minutes later.

Not too bad so far. It's actually kind of….okay.

* * *

Ten minutes later Marley was washing the plate and taking the last few gulps of the warm milk. She wiped her mouth and began to head upstairs in the bathroom to brush her teeth. During the middle of her teeth washing she refused to look in the mirror and instead kept staring down at the sink.

By the time she finished brushing and rinsing she felt her stomach rumble. She held it and prayed that it was just more hunger. But her stomach lingered the noise and Marley began to feel… tight in her pajama pants. She tried to ignore it as she began to leave for the bathroom, but couldn't help it.

Her mind wasn't thinking again.

She turned around and went to the toilet, she pulled her hair up into a tightly tall bun as she got to her knees. She lifted the seat up and held her head over the toilet, tears already running off her face and crawling down her neck. She placed one of her fingers to the back of her throat and pushed down as her other hand held her up from the floor. She felt the horrid mixture of milk, bread and peanut butter wash out of her stomach and into the toilet. The acid reflex burned and caused her to gag.

She did it again a second time.

By the third time she was close to vomiting when she heard a knock on the door and the doorknob rattle.

"Marley? Marley, open the door." Ryder's voice called, sounding as if he knew. "Come on Marley, open the door."

Marley tried to joke it off. "Ryder, go pee downstairs…I'm peeing."

"No your not. Your throwing up again." He said. "Marley I'm not mad, I swear. Just open the door please."

"I've, uh, I can't…I'm better." Marley said as she stood up and flushed the toilet.

"Marley…we can talk about this?"

"Ryder I'm fine. I just, uh—" She looked around hoping to find something that'd give her a reason to explain. She saw a package of tampons. Last time she had her period was probably a month before she got pregnant, or around the time she got pregnant. She wasn't sure why she didn't get one last month since knew that a month after having a baby, the period comes back, and obviously she weighed a lot to have a period. But still,

It worked.

"I've got my period." She said. "You know, how I get sick—"

"I sound like an ass when I say this, but it's been, like, almost a year since you've had one. But last time I remembered your only symptoms are cramps, crying, chocolate cravings and bloating. Kind of been like that since high school and I kind of doubt that vomiting just comes up."

By the time he finished talking from the door, Marley opened the door and saw him. She looked at him. "I just got sick, I'm sorry."

Ryder leaned his forehead on her as his arms snaked around her waist and he pulled her in. "Marley," he whispered. "You don't have to lie to me, I understand," He rubbed her back as Marley wrapped her arms around his back. "It's okay."

"I'm fine, I promise." She said to Ryder with a encouraging grin. "I just woke up with it and got sick. I promise I'm fine now."

"Honest?"

"Honest." She said. Then made sure he knew what she meant by pecking his lips with hers. "Alright let's get some sleep now."

"Okay." Ryder said as he walked back with her to the room.

* * *

Marley ended up falling asleep. In Ryder's arms, her head on Ryder's shirt covered chest as it rose up and down, as she felt his hand rubbing her head and his eyes watching her. She felt at peace now.

But wished she didn't just did what she did.

And wished that Ryder wasn't awake during so.


	9. For Cory (updated)

Hey guys.

So I'm sure you've all heard the news.

Our Finn has passed away on 7/13/2013.

Although the first episode of Glee I watched was "Born This Way" and have been watching the show since then, I have seen numerous videos of Glee's other seasons before Born This Way.

I learned about the characters and learned how they grew up each seasons.

I loved Finn! So nerdy and funny, but smart and wise.

It's going to be so hard for Season 5 and future episodes.

I want them to make a very good episode dedicated to Cory. He was a big part on the show, he basically was the show, and Glee will never be the same ever again.

My heart goes out to Cory's family and friends and Glee Family.

Especially to Lea Michele.

I heard a rumor that in two weeks, Lea and Cory were to be wed.

I'm heart broken to the ends.

But Cory is still with us in spirit; his voice and smile and magical talents.

Rest Easy Cory, You'll Always Be Loved And Remembered For Everything You Did.

**Cory Allan Michael Monteith **

_May 11, 1982 – July 13, 2013_

_~ Update: I will continue fanfiction stories of mine, but for now... I'm on a break, due to broken heart (and the fact that most of my fics have Finchel in them or are just depressing themselves.) So please look out for me in LATE JULY/ EARLY AUGUST when I will start uploading again_


	10. Another Perception

**Hello!****  
**

**This has been a very eventful week. I'm still deep in the blues about Cory's death, but I'm going to move forward with Growing Pains.**

**Three Updates: This and the next two chapters, so review them all please**

**:)**

* * *

**9: Another Perception.**

**December 11th.**

Ryder was sleeping peacefully, dreaming about the time that the Glee kids and himself got Saturday detention, due to the Warblers writing 'New Directions Rules!' all over the Dalton Academy school and blaming ND's for the problem (luckily the principals worked it out and ND's would get Saturday Detention, all members) and they attempted to make it into The Breakfast Club, until Coach Sue threaten to….he forgot what she said at that point, but it was something that made them shut up.

He woke up, but stayed in his position and focused on the wall, knowing that he'd fall asleep again soon.

He just started to remember how they were assigned in alphabetical order by last name when they first arrived at detention. Two to a seat, he was seated next to Sugar. He turned around in his seat to find Marley, unfortunately, next to Kitty, who sat there reading her magazine.

Once Figgins left the room, everyone got up and made their way into their own tables with friends they wanted to speak with. Ryder got over to Marley and poked her. She smiled but ignored him.

"Oh, that game, isn't it?" Ryder said. "Fine, I see how it is."

The remainder of the time was him and her smiling, laughing and talking and holding hands. They escaped from the others, finding a secret way out of the library that lead them outside. They sat right outside the doors and made out until, a while later, Sam came over and told them to stop sucking each other's faces and come inside for lunch.

* * *

Ryder laughed to himself quietly, attempting to not make a sound that would wake Marley up. Though he heard a stomach growl and knew it belonged to Marley as she hadn't eat anything for the past few hours. Before he could turn around and offer to make her a sandwich he heard her get up herself and leave the room. He figured she was making her own food. He laid back on his back and rested and glared up at the ceiling.

At least Marley is making an attempt to get better again. I know it's going to take a while for her to get back to as she was before. Before the pregnancy she was getting a lot better—sure a few times where she took laxatives or, more commonly, made herself puke — but I'm there for Marley. I'm always going to be here for Marley, no matter what, and I'll help her out along the way. I'm not too concerned because I know Marley is strong enough to get through anything.

She handle when her Dad left her. She handled herself during the reminder of high school after her Sectional's moment during our sophomore year, she handled her. And the rest of our high school years. And her Moms death during our sophomore years of college, and before that when someone reminded her of the Freshmen Fifteen and she had a meltdown because she gained five pounds and eventually through all the madness; she handled herself.

She can do this. I'm not too worried about her, but I'm still worried. Not just for her but for—

* * *

Ryder stopped thinking to himself when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, pretty quickly, and recognized the walking pattern of the stairs to the bathroom. He heard the door close and seconds later, vomiting.

"Just ate something bad." He lied to himself.

A second time, he heard vomiting.

"Really…..really bad food." He lied again.

A third time.

Ryder got out of the bed and quickly left the bedroom and into the hallway and to the bathroom door. He had one hand on the door knob and began to turn it, both ways he tried to open the door but then comprehended that Marley locked the door.

"Marley? Marley, open the door." He called out, knowing that she could hear him now. "Come on Marley, open the door."

_"Ryder, go pee downstairs…I'm peeing."_

Ryder sighed. "No your not. Your throwing up again." He said. "Marley I'm not mad, I swear. Just open the door please."

_"I've, uh, I can't…I'm better."_ Marley replied.

Ryder heard the toilet flush and knew she was throwing away the evidence she has just done. He sighed again, then made an attempt to talk to her again. "Marley…we can talk about this."

_"Ryder I'm fine. I just, uh—"_ Ryder waited for her answer, his ear right against the door._ "I've got my period."_ He sighed, hitting his forehead with his hand and shaking it. "Don't lie to me, not now…not with a baby, Marley. Not with our baby." He muttered to himself.

_"You know, how I get sick—"_

"I sound like an ass when I say this," Ryder began to say, then took a deep breathe of air and spoke again "But it's been, like, almost a year since you've had one. But last time I remembered your only symptoms are cramps, crying, chocolate cravings and bloating. Kind of been like that since high school and I kind of doubt that vomiting just comes up."

* * *

Ryder waited by the door for Marley as he heard the water running and the sound of hands being washed and water being drunk. He crossed his arms, but his face was sad and concerned all over his face. Marley opened the door and he could tell in an instant that, from her physical looks, she had forced herself to vomit.

"I just got sick, I'm sorry." She muttered softly.

Ryder leaned his forehead on her as his arms uncrossed and snaked around her waist and he pulled her in. "Marley," he whispered. "You don't have to lie to me, I understand," He rubbed her back as Marley wrapped her arms around his back. "It's okay."

"I'm fine, I promise." She said to Ryder with a encouraging grin. "I just woke up with it and got sick. I promise I'm fine now."

For some odd reason, Ryder wanted to believe her but at the same time, he didn't, but if they trusted one another than he would start trusting her again. "Honest?"

"Honest." She said. Then she pecked his lips. "Alright let's get some sleep now."

"Okay." Ryder said as he walked back with her to the room. Before actually entering the room he turned back and looked at the bathroom once more. He sighed, closing the door behind him.

Ryder and Marley got back into the bed, cuddled into each others arms, and slowly began their own pace to sleep world. Marley ended up falling asleep. In Ryder's arms, her head on Ryder's shirt covered chest as it rose up and down. Ryder was rubbing the top of her hair and watched her as she fell deep asleep. After what felt like fifteen minutes he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"You're amazing Marley, you don't need to change a thing. Goodnight Marley," He whispered. "I love you."


	11. The White Bunny

**Hello!**

**Be sure to read the bottom of chapter to read why this chapter is entitled The White Bunny.**

* * *

**10: The White Bunny.**

**December 13th.**

For the next two days Marley ate very little, only because Ryder forced her to sit down and eat something. Even half a plate of the food he ordered or that she made— if she made it than Ryder would make her a plate first before his own. She hated it because the food was bland shit. Even her own vomit had flavor in it.

The other thing, too, was that around nine at night on the 12th Marley made her way to the bathroom after eating a late dinner only an hour ago. She thought she had locked the door and went onto her knees, lifted the seat up, and placed her index finger in the back of her throat. She gagged up the meatloaf Ryder made at least twice before Ryder, who left the bedroom after changing into pajamas, barged into the bathroom and told her to stop. Even if it meant that, once again the when she was pregnant, he had to physically grab and pull her away from the toilet and hold his grip on her.

Although she said she's stop, she knew it would happen again. When Ryder reminded her of the promise she had made to Annika a few weeks ago, Marley broke down; remembering her words to her baby girl. Baby girl, I promise I won't vomit anymore. Okay?

* * *

A night later on the thirteenth, Marley was laying awake in bed, on her side, trying to sleep but had too much on her mind. After a while her mind drifted off to sleep.

She began to dream about the oddest things; not the usual ones like the one she usually had. This one was Marley in a dark hallway, a mile long dark hallway, with the sound of nothing but soothing music coming from a child. Like in one of those creepy horror type films. Marley's instincts followed down one end of the hallway. At the end of the hallway was a pair of double white doors. She opened them and found herself in a field covered in peonies, with a Dream Marley— she was seeing herself in a dream version. And it looked like Dream Marley didn't even notice Real World Marley at all. Real Marley followed Dream Marley walked down the grassy field, picking up bunches of peonies and sniffing them; just as Dream Marley was doing. Towards the middle of an opened field Real Marley saw a small white bunny.

The white bunny hopped from peonies to peonies, sniffing each bunch and moving onto the next bunch. It hopped closer to Marley each time. Real Marley saw Dream Marley smile as she sat down, waiting for the bunny to cuddle close to her. Real Marley saw the white bunny hop closer to Dream Marley. The white bunny got close enough to Dream Marley that Dream Marley picked up the bunny like a newborn and cuddled the bunny.

Real Marley observed Dream Marley for a while, watching her rock the bunny back and forth and rubbing her nose against the white bunny's nose. Soon enough she saw the dream version of Ryder walking over to Dream Marley and sitting behind her. He looked between Dream Marley and the white bunny. Dream Ryder kissed Dream Marley on the cheek, then leaned down and kissed the white bunny's forehead, before placing his arm under Dream Marley's to help support the weight of the bunny.

Real Marley saw how blissful the Dream Marley and Dream Ryder were with the white bunny. She smiled at the picture. However a large cry from behind her stopped her grinning and change it to a frown, where she turned around.

Real Marley saw a cemetery, with grave plots all over the place in the middle of the rain. She saw Dream Ryder and Dream Marley standing near a grave site. But, how? Real Marley turned around and saw that the once green and cheery field of peonies was now the rest of the cemetery.

When she turned back to face Dream Ryder and Dream Marley, Real Marley was soaking wet in her clothes. But her eyes were fixated on the Dream Lynn's.

Dream Ryder had in his arms a lumpy dark gray blanket.

Real Marley walked closer and saw a cotton bump at the end; cotton like a white cotton tail.

Dream Marley stood there, bawling her eyes out, as Dream Ryder placed the dark gray blanket down and stood back up. Dream Ryder then stepped back and placed his arms around Dream Marley's waist, resting his head on her head.

Real Marley stood there, sadness on her face, as Dream Marley eventually broke down to her knees, burying her head in her hands and sobbing loudly.

Dream Ryder kneeled to her side, hugging her tightly and closely.

Real Marley stood there, now just glaring at where the white bunny was placed. She knew in an instant what everything was telling her.

* * *

**Outside Dream….**

Marley felt herself being shook awake by someone. Her eyes opened widely, seeing some light in the room. Her breathing was hard and deep, she felt the sticky sweat that pinned her clothes to her and the bed sheets tangled up and stick to her. She felt a warm head on her forehead, feeling her, as another hand rest on her stomach.

"Marley? Marley, honey what's wrong?" Ryder asked, his face above hers and looking down; alarmed at such a behavior he's never seen before. She's had nightmares before, but usually she just shot up awake and scream. This time it was more… physically. Tossing and turning and screaming. "What's wrong?"

Marley took some deep breathes, taking both hands over her eyes as she thought of a response and adjusting to everything.

"Was it your Mom?" He asked, knowing that most of her nightmares had to do with her mother's death during her sophomore year in college.

Marley shook her head, as she sat up and took off half the covers. "No." Her voice was shaky.

Ryder rubbed her back as he held one of her hands in his free one. "What was it?"

"Nothing." She said then sucked in the air. "I'm fine, just a nightmare. I'll be fine."

"I can't and won't go back to sleep until I know what's wrong. You're going to have it again and wake up again."

"I'll be fine Ryder. I promise." Marley said. She then kissed Ryder on the mouth and laid back afterwards. After a few moments when the lights went off, she sat up again. "You're really not going to sleep, are you?"

"I'm not sleeping. I'm staying awake to make sure you're okay." Ryder said and from the tone, she knew he was serious.

"It was a bunny," Marley said with a sign. "A cute little bunny…. In a field with me and you."

Ryder paused then said, "Did you see yourself as you see yourself now or did you see you as how others see you? As in a Dream Marley?"

"Yeah." She said, surprised he understood what she meant. "How others see me."

"Same here." Ryder said. "Damn bunny."

Marley laughed, knowing that Ryder was grinning from ear to ear with his comment because he knew it would make her laugh. Her laugh died down, her head leaning against Ryder's shoulder to a rest and her face still facing down at the space between her legs.

"I want my bunny." Marley muttered.

Ryder pulled her closer to him as he rested his head on top of hers. "She'll come home soon, Marley. I promise."

"The white bunny didn't seem to tell me so…"

"The white bunny is just our anxieties," Ryder said. "I remember learning when I took that psychology class for a semester during my junior year before I switched out and into another class. Stupid IEP," Ryder muttered. "I don't want her to be like me and my…eh… stupid intelligence."

"You're not stupid, Ryder." Marley said. "Your brain works different." She reminded him, just like she always did when he had a hard time on a a homework assignment.

"Sure." He said, doubting himself again. "Anyways from what I remember in the class, it's just our worries converting themselves into our minds while we sleep, and giving us messages. Hidden, secret messages… it's kind of wacky."

"Secret message or not, I just want my bunny back." Marley said as she moved out of his arms and laid back down onto her back.

Ryder laid back also, but on his side so that he was still facing Marley. He then shifted himself closer so that he was basically close to her head. He used one arm to prop himself up in place while the other rubbed Marley's stomach. He leaned down, kissed the top of her nose, and whispered, "She's going to be like you; Amazing, beautiful, compassionate, a bookworm and most importantly—strong."

Marley bit her mouth when he said that. And as she felt Ryder plop himself back onto the bed, pulled the covers back over her, and began falling back asleep, she looked up above and prayed that her bunny—her baby—would be okay. She then turned to Ryder and whispered to him.

"I love you, Ryder."

"I love you, Marley."

The next morning, around six thirty, Marley woke up. Somehow feeling refreshed from her nightmare. She turned to her side to find Ryder still asleep. She smiled, kissed his nose, and got out of the bed. Downstairs she saw the dogs at the back door, wanting to go out. She opened the door and watched them go out.

"Little freaks." She said. Something caught the side of her eye and when she turned to find what it was, she saw her answer. A little white bunny.

Her mind went crazy, seeing that innocent pure white bunny.

She went back inside the house, ran to the downstairs bathroom, got on her knees and forced herself to puke.

* * *

**Hey so here's the reason why (unless you guessed already why this chapter is entitled The White Bunny) in the mysterious ways of life.**

**White: Symbolizes pure, innocence**

**Bunny: Child/children.**


	12. The First Hug

**Hello! Sorry I didn't upload this the last time, but my power went off and I lost the power. Then when it came back on i lost the work to this chapter, and was pissed. When I'm pissed at stuff like this I just don't work on it.**

**Sorry.**

* * *

**11: The First Hug.**

**December 14th.**

For the next few hours Marley and Ryder were, once again, getting ready for a hospital visit. Marley didn't tell Ryder about her early morning bathroom visit. She didn't want him to worry about her, she decided. She'd rather have all that worry energy into their baby's health situation. It was more important to her than her body health.

At the hospital Marley and Ryder got to the NICU and found their little baby in her incubator. Ryder sat on the chair next to the incubator as Marley sat on Ryder, the both of them facing their little child's face. Still hooked up to several different machines for different reasons, they could still see her beautiful little face. Though they could barely see it, Annika looked a bit larger than she'd been the past several visits and that was something they were always cheery about.

A little while into their visit, which included sneaking in a few crackers from a baggie in Marley's cardigan pocket, a nurse came in to talk to them about Annika's health and her progress, which seemed to be the same level that it had usually been. A doctor came in a while later about some things. At the end the doctor, after writing down a few things on his clipboard he turned up to them with a smile and said, "Would you like to hold your daughter?"

"Really?" Marley said, a huge smile on her face appeared. "We can hold her?"

"Of course." The doctor said, "Just need to get you set up for your holding."

Marley got excited, literally holding Ryder's hand tightly and kind of jumping up and down all in eager. Marley was seated down in a chair, took off her cardigan even though it was cold in the room (but warm in the incubator). She unbuttoned the first top four buttons of her shirt as she knew that they would place her baby girl on her chest and she'd used her shirt as a blanket for her baby. Within minutes her baby, who was still connected to her wires, was placed against Marley's. Skin to skin and warmth to warmth.

She looked down at her little baby girl, who's breath was a soft gentle blow on Marley, and smiled as she supported the child's body. Her eyes filled up with tears, her heart full of bliss but also sadness—worry that this would be the last time that she might be able to hold her daughter if the fates changed Marley's stars. It was perfect for Marley, everything she ever dreamed since she was a little girl when she imaged her perfect family. Incredibly cheesy, but perfect.

Ryder was recording the entire moment on his sonny handheld video camera and taking a few pictures with his cell-phone. He, too, was grinning from ear to ear watching this. Was it because Marley seemed happier these days than she did before? Was it because for the first time since she been placed in the incubator, his baby girl was outside of the protection thing—though still hooked up to these wires and tubes that kept her breathing, fed and alive? Or was it something of the unexplained that new parents just felt when they're around their firstborn baby? Maybe it was just a father feeling.

Whatever it was he didn't care. All he cared about now was Marley's happiness, Marley's health and the general overall health of their baby. He just kept staring down at his two important girls of his life. They were his girls and he loved them to death.

He looked up at Marley and discovered a few tear drops running down her face. Using his free thumb he wiped away.

"You okay?"

Marley nodded, still looking down at her baby girl—who's eyes were kind of opened. "Happy tears."

After what felt like twenty minutes, a teary eye Marley turned to a face Ryder. Still grinning from ear to ear. "You want to hold her now?"

Ryder nodded, placing the video camera down. He did the same thing as Marley; he sat down in a second chair and unbuttoned the first few of his shirt. Within minutes he was holding his daughter, skin-to-skin with her and feeling the warmth they were both giving off one another. He loved it. It felt like everything in the world is perfect at that very moment. It was amazing, it was life altering, the most beautiful sensation in the world. It was an instantaneous affection of love.

Marley had never seen Ryder this jovial since when they were told they were expecting a baby a little over eight months ago. She loved seeing him this jovial that it broke her heart; one being that if the fate of stars altered that this would be the first and possibly the last time that Ryder would hold his little girl. The second being the bathroom activity that she's done to herself.

But she ignored those and attempted to stay positive. She reached behind Ryder and using one hand grabbed the video camera and with her other hand she pulled out her I-phone. She held up the phone camera and took a picture of the two. "Daddy's little girl." She said melodiously but loud enough for Ryder to hear her.

"She's adorable." Ryder commented.

"She's perfect." Marley said, looking at her baby's face. "And angelic."

"Like Mom."

"But Daddy's ears and deep brown eyes. She's a Lynn." Marley laughed.

* * *

Around four in the afternoon Marley and Ryder were leaving the hospital, holding hands and wearing grins on their faces. Ryder went to pull his phone out, but realized he forgot it inside. "Hey, I'll be right back. Forgot my phone."

Inside and down at the NICU, Ryder retrieved his cell phone that he left on a desk. For a few more minutes he decided to look at Annika once more before leaving again. He went over to the window that showed a few of the newborns in the NICU room. He smiled as he leaned against the glass, looking over at the incubator his daughter was sleeping and dreaming.

He smiled. "Get better soon, Annie."

"She yours?" A female nurse asked. "Baby Girl Lynn?"

"Yeah." Ryder answered, still looking at Annika. "She's gorgeous."

"Could I talk to you for a moment, Mr. Lynn?" The nurse asked. Her face and tone of voice was serious. It gave Ryder an odd feeling.

"Um, sure." Ryder said, as he followed her.

* * *

Outside Marley waited the front doors of the hospital on a bench. She watched as a few parents got into their cars with their newborns, starting their new lives. She wanted that so badly, she'd do anything for that. Her arm, her leg, her ability to sing, her natural beauty for her little baby to go home.

"Where is he?" She wondered where Ryder had gone for ten minutes. She then saw him leave the hospital doors. "Ryder!" She got up and went over to him. When she got close she saw the look on his face. "Ryder? You okay?"

Ryder was still a little space out over what he had just been told. But he shook off the feeling and nodded. "Yeah, just a small headache. I'll be fine."

Later that night while laying in bed, both Marley and Ryder held a hand to their chest where Annika's warm tiny body rested, feeling their warmth.


	13. A Break

**Oh my god.. It's been almost a month since I uploaded this! Aaahh!**

**I'm so sorry!**

* * *

**12. A Break.**

_December 15th._

The next morning Ryder woke up a little bit earlier than Marley usually did. He got downstairs into the kitchen and started to make Marley's favorite breakfast meal; Chocolate chip blueberry pancakes and hot chocolate. By the time he finished making his buttermilk pancakes, without setting the house on fire by a miracle chance, Marley was downstairs and in the kitchen.

"What's this?" She asked finding her favorites set up on the table.

"Your favorites." Ryder said, setting the stack of pancakes down in front of her seat. "Blueberry chocolate chip pancakes and hot chocolate." He explained as he pulled out a chair for her.

"What's the occasion?" She smiled as she sat down in the chair.

"Nothing much," He said pushing her back in. "Just figure we have a day to ourselves. A date, if you want to call it. All day date."

"All day date?" She asked, a bit surprised.

"Yep. I thought of everything we can do today—"

"Don't you have work?"

"Took the day off." Ryder said as he sat down in the seat next to her and took off the first pancake in the buttermilk stack. "So I'd figure that after this we'd shower, get dress, brush up and go out with the dogs for a walk around anywhere you want. Get lunch somewhere, bring the dogs home and go to the park to do whatever. Go to out to dinner then come back and watch any movie you like."

"That sounds like fun!" Marley said. "But instead of the park after we bring Ollie and Odette home, can we go to the hospital instead?"

Ryder tried to play it cool. "But, uh, we won't make it to Breadstix in time for dinner."

"Oh that's fine, I'll make some pizza or whatever when we come back from the hospital. And I'll be nice and watch any movie you like." Marley said, halfway finished with her pancake. She looked up and saw the look in Ryder's face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said as coolly as possible.

"Ryder…." She got suspicious.

Ryder sighed, the rubbed back his hair. He bit his mouth and said, "It's probably not good to go there everyday."

"What do you mean?" Marley questioned.

"I mean, we should probably go and move on with things you know," Ryder said. He was having a difficult time trying to keep things calm while also trying to not hurt Marley's feelings. "Like I'm starting to head back to work, just slowly though. We'll take things slowly and take baby steps."

"Baby." Marley said.

"Yeah, baby steps." Ryder said.

"No I mean, Baby." Marley said, now realizing what Ryder was possibly trying to cover. "Something happened."

"What?" Ryder asked, very perplexed.

"Something happened when you went back into the hospital. Did it?" Marley was now accusing Ryder of covering a fact. She stood up from her seat a minute later, still in an accusing voice. "Something happened. What happened?"

Ryder bit his mouth, trying to find the words to explain to Marley.

Marley, a little crazy, slammed her hands on the table and moved herself closer to him. "What happened?"

Ryder still kept his mouth shut, trying to think of an answer rapidly.

Marley, for an unknown reason, came to a realization…something she hoped was a lie. "Annika? Is she okay, Ryder? Ryder is Annika...Oh my…is she….is she…." Marley's cerulean eyes began to water up, a few drops falling down her face.

"No! NO!" Ryder rapidly replied, standing up and moving next to her; pulling her into a deep hug. "No, no, Marley, no. She's fine."

"Then why can't I go and visit her, Ryder?" Marley asked, still sobbing a bit.

"I just think we should go see her a few times a week, Monday and Wednesday and Friday." Ryder said in a comforting voice. "That way we're still seeing her but we're still kind of moving forward with our lives. You understand what I'm trying to do, Marley?"

* * *

Marley looked at Ryder, intensely into his deep brown eyes with her cerulean eyes. She slowly back away from Ryder then once far enough she turned around and walked away briskly to the stairs, tears rolling down her face and her hand wiping them away.

By instinct Ryder began following her and calling her out. "Marley….Marley….come on, don't walk away from me Marley. Marley honey, please come back here and talk to me."

Marley shook her head as she went up the stairs and down the small hall to her and Ryder's bedroom. She walked inside and locked the door.

Ryder got to the door and knocked on it. "Come on Marley, open the door." No answer, just loud sobbing. "Marley, I'm sorry…. I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. Honest. I—"

"What's wrong with her?" Marley asked.

Ryder sighed and said, "Her heart rate went down a little, so they're still checking on her and making sure she's fine. I'm sure she is though. She'll—" He was stopped by loud sobbing again. "Marley please open the door," Ryder tried to open the door again. "Marley open the door please? We can talk about this if you want."

"No!" Marley screeched. "Just leave me alone."

"Marley…."

"No, go do whatever you want Ryder. Just leave me alone, today?" Her voice pleaded.

Ryder sighed, knowing she wouldn't leave for a while. And she probably needed some space for a while to cool down. At least Ryder did some laundry last night and had clean clothes in the basement. He left, got dressed, then went back up. He knocked on the door.

"Marley I'm going out for a while, need anything?" He asked.

"No." Her cracked teary voice answered.

"Alright. Call me if you need anything, okay?" He said. "I love you."

* * *

Ryder left after that and caught the first bus to downtown Lima. The ride over all he kept thinking about was Marley. And Annika. And both Marley and Annika.

They're his girls, he needed his girls and his girls need him. So he had to play cool and be the calm person right now.

But that was getting a lot harder these days. Especially since both his girls are both in a bad position.


	14. Daddy Daughter Delights

**Author Note At Bottom.**

* * *

11: Daddy Daughter Delights.

_Same Day.._

He felt terrible, kind of. Like a hypocrite of some sort. But he had nothing else to do since Marley pretty much threw away his plans for the day. Hopefully if Marley found out about this, she wouldn't be too piss at him.

He just wanted to check on her. Make sure Annika was okay.

He got there around an hour later and went to where she was and went in the room. He had called Jake and called him over for a while, just to talk to him about things and such. He knew Puck was visiting Jake for the holidays so he said that if Puck was around, he could join along.

Ryder sat down in the chair, looking at Annika, for a while until Jake waved his arms like a wild guy to get Ryder's attention, receiving a slap from Puck a minute later and receiving a dirty look. A nurse, who was checking on another incubated baby, looked between Ryder and the window.

"That's my brother," Ryder said. Half a the truth. "Her, uh, Uncle Jake. And his brother."

* * *

Minutes later Jake and Puck, wearing the hospital garment one wore inside the NICU, came in and stood next to Ryder. It was Jake's first time seeing how tiny the little girl was. "God I feel like that annoying Ben Savage show when Valentine Brother was born, like the same outfits and shit!" Puck yelled, only to be shh-ed by some nurses. "Damn nurses."

"Man, she's pretty small." Jake said looking inside the incubator. "But bigger than those photos you've sent."

"Yeah," Ryder said kind of softly. "But bigger than the average."

"Like one of those vegetable fruit dolls that my half sister's best friend's older sister had in the 80's?" Jake asked, getting a laugh from Ryder.

"Cabbage dolls? Uh, yeah, she's probably bigger than one of those dolls." Ryder said. He then looked back into the incubator and stared down at the sleeping child. "Definitely more adorable."

"Not as much as Beth," Puck commented.

"Better than Max. That kid never slept at all." Jake laughed. "Hey, she looks like….uh, you."

"Positive or negative."

"She's a cute girl, but her father has a different story." Jake laughed.

"Really?" Puck said looking down again. "I see Marley. Swear to God, I'm not kidding, I see Marley."

"Kind of." Jake said. "Oh thank God she does, Ryder's a piece of shit."

"Shut up." Ryder said. He then looked backed once more and something changed in him. For the first time since she was born Ryder saw the tubes and wires she was hooked up to. It was a horrid sight.

"I hate tubes and wires." Ryder said. "I hate hospitals. I hate everything."

"Everything, everything?" Jake asked.

"Most things of everything, but not everything." Ryder said, still looking at the baby. He placed one of his hands inside of the incubator and softly touched his baby girls hand. A soft hand so small.

* * *

A while later a nurse came in and said Ryder could hold Annika. Within minutes Ryder was sitting down in a chair. As Ryder gently bounced her a little and rocked her in his arms, she slowly opened her eyes and peered up at the guy holding her. Ryder smiled looking into her brown eyes.

"Hi Annie," Ryder whispered to her. "It's Daddy. You look a lot better than before, keep getting there. You've got to get better honey, Mommy and I miss you a lot and want you back home soon." He looked up towards Jake and Puck and smiled. "Hey Annika, say hi to Jake and Puck."

"Hey kid," Puck said. "Listen first off, I'm sorry your parents gave you such a crappy name. Second of all," His voice got soft. "You're a pretty lucky girl. You've got some good parents and us, the friends and family in their lives, we're awesome so don't even try to not be friends with us. We've got your back Baby Girl Lynn. Always."

"Hey Annika," Jake said as he still recorded the entire thing with video camera. "Sorry you have your Dads looks; but you make them ten times prettier than he does."

"Thanks Jake." Ryder said in a sarcastic tone.

"I speak nothing but the truth, watch. She'll see this in sixteen years be like 'Oh good, someone agrees with me that I look better than Dad.' I'll be that guy." Jake laughed. "Hey Annika, so Max is like, five years old than you, but I promise I'll make sure that kid doesn't do any stupid things with you in about sixteen years."

Ryder rolled his eyes as he laughed and went back to looking at his daughter. She smiled as he continued to lightly bounce her. Soon enough he sang a song for her, a familiar song that he knew by heart as it was a number one hit from Phil Collins. He sang softly to the little girl.

___**Ryder**_  
Come stop your crying  
_It will be alright_  
_Just take my hand_  
_Hold it tight_

_I will protect you_  
_From all around you_  
_I will be here_  
_Don't you cry_

_For one so small,_  
_You seem so strong_  
_My arms will hold you,_  
_Keep you safe and warm_  
_This bond between us_  
_Can't be broken_  
_I will be here_  
_Don't you cry_

_'Cause you'll be in my heart_  
_Yes, you'll be in my heart_  
_From this day on_  
_Now and forever more_

_You'll be in my heart_  
_No matter what they say_  
_You'll be here in my heart, always_

_Why can't they understand the way we feel?_  
_They just don't trust what they can't explain_  
_I know we're different but deep inside us_  
_We're not that different at all_

_And you'll be in my heart_  
_Yes, you'll be in my heart_  
_From this day on_  
_Now and forever more_

_Don't listen to them_  
_'Cause what do they know _

_**Jake/Puck**  
What do they know?_

_**Ryder**  
We need each other_  
_To have, to hold._  
_They'll see in time_  
_I know_

_When destiny calls you_  
_You must be strong _

_**Jake/Puck**  
You gotta be strong_

_**Ryder**  
I may not be with you_  
_But you've got to hold on_  
_They'll see in time_  
_I know_  
_We'll show them together_

_'Cause you'll be in my heart_  
_Believe me, you'll be in my heart_  
_I'll be there from this day on,_  
_Now and forever more_

___**Ryder**_  
Oh, you'll be in my heart 

___**Jake/Puck**_  
You'll be here in my heart

___**Ryder**_  
No matter what they say 

___**Jake/Puck**_  
I'll be with you

_**Ryder**_  
_You'll be here in my heart always_  
_Always_  
_I'll be with you_  
_I'll be there for you always_  
_Always and always_  
_Just look over your shoulder_  
_Just look over your shoulder_  
_Just look over your shoulder_  
_I'll be there always._

* * *

Once finished with the song Ryder held his blanket wrapped baby closer to him. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Annie."

About a while later the three guys left the hospital to get lunch somewhere. Leaving the grounds Puck stopped Ryder.

"Father-to-father talk." He said.

"Uh, okay?" Ryder said.

"She'll be fine." Puck said. "I know it."

"How do you know?"

"Father thing. I may have given Beth up, but you can't give up on Annika." Puck said.

Ryder, though Puck's connections were off (Beth didn't die, but was given up to another life), he got the idea.

* * *

**Hey guys. So I am starting college in two days. I have a class every single day this semester (actually, 1 class three times a week; and 3 classes twice a week) ****So I will be busy with school work AND regular work hours. So I will not be updating as much as I could be now.**

**Please forgive me and keep following**

**Thank you :)**


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